the night torn mad with footsteps

[these, our bodies, possessed by light]

2009-12-21T02:56:27Z

I recently celebrated my three-year LJ-versary. Which basically coincided with my three years in fandom, the SPN fandom in particular. And wow, it's been a wild ride, kiddies, but I want to thank everyone whose been a part of this crazy journey with me. I want to say how awesome my flist remains, and thank you for all the birthday love today.

A special thank you for the wonderful vgifts tru_faith_lost, smilla02, maerhys, bekkis, dotfic, elvisglasses5, and deirdre_c. And thank you for the birthday wishes jelloh0530, anneheart, moodswingers, apostrophee, maichan808, velvetine01, eilan, fleshflutter, applepie_x0, bloodquartz, surevesta, arlad, joans23, jennygeee, drvsilla, rogue_pixie88, lalita82, tabularassa, enablelove, velvetine01, and ceburaskas! And if I missed anyone, I apologize, but thank you so much! ♥

And thank you loolookitty for the beautiful icons!

And to the partner-in-crime maerhys, thank you for sending me a wonderful collection of poetry -- Crush by Richard Siken. This man's poetry undoes me, truly. So flist, here have a taste:

Scheherazade

Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake
                                                             and dress them in warm clothes again.
        How it was late, and no one could sleep, the horses running
until they forgot they are horses.
               It’s not like a tree where the roots have to end somewhere,
       it’s more like a song on a policeman’s radio,
                      how we rolled up the carpet so we would dance, and the days
were bright red, and every time we kissed there was another apple
                                                                                           to slice into pieces.
Look at the light through the windowpane. That means it’s noon, that means
        We’re inconsolable.
                                              Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.
These, our bodies, possessed by light.
                                                                     Tell me we’ll never get used to it.

Richard Siken

Love to you all!

[my dearest]

2009-12-10T15:40:54Z

I'm operating on very little sleep. So here, have some Random Fandom Letters.

Dear Dean/Cas folks: Okay, fess up. Which of you works in the marketing department at Virgin Mobile? Hook Up Fearlessly? There's even tie pulling, which as we know is vital D/C fanon. Slashy Angels are all the rage I guess. Thank you SPN. <3

Dear General Hospital: Casting Scott Reeves as Steven Webber was ingenious. Really. Now if you'd just end that icky Lucky/Liz/Nik triangle, I'd be ever so thankful. It's rage-inducing, really. So stop it. And speaking of daytime TV, dear OLTL, keep on rockin' in the free world, show. I haven't enjoyed a gay s/l like this on an American soap since you did that s/l with twinky Ryan Phillipe as the poor gay parishioner pouring his heart out to Rev. Carpenter.

Dear FlashForward: More Demetri/Zoey please. They're my favorite and maybe the only reason I'm still watching. Next to of course Janis, the awesomest lesbian FBI agent on TV. Speaking of awesome lesbian FBI agents:

Dear White Collar: You give me an awesome African-American lesbian FBI agent in episode one and then you vanish her. Not cool. Not cool at all. Please to be bringing her back next season. Also, my OT3 lives on even if Peter is a shady mofo! That was a killer turn of events. I absolutely loved the ending.

Dear Leverage. Please to be coming back soon. K, thanks!

Dear Glee. I need to catch up with you. I've heard your race and gender fail has gotten worse though. Stop it.

Dear Merlin. We have much catching up to do this weekend as well! YAY!

Dear Criminal Minds: How did I miss watching you for four years? I sort of love you. Lots.

Dear SPN fanfic writers, go write me some AU:

Yours in fangirling,
MaBoheme

[reading is fun]

2009-12-08T15:29:03Z

Just finished two beautiful coming-of-age fics that were written for me, so let me rec them here:

loolookitty | Supernatural | Crazy For You | Dean/OMC, implied pre-Sam/Dean | NC-17
This sweet love story was written for me during the Fall Fandom Free For All to the prompt "Supernatural, Dean/OMC; teen!Dean first discovering he's into guys; falls for the badboy down the street, has a whirlwind summer romance." Thank you hon for this lovely fic!

maerhys | CWRPF AU | Tomorrow The Green Grass | Jared/Jensen | NC-17
Arts High School AU. Jared and Jensen deal with growing up and life with a little help from their friends.
(Okay, this one wasn't written *just* for me, lol, but I do like to enable Mae's awesome craziness, so yeah, I feel like this is a gift for me and the world. <3 This was her mini-NaNo project and I'm so proud of her!)

*

In other SPN ficcing news, I want to read your SPN FPF and RPF that you're most proud of writing this year. So, please come and rec yourself over at sawedoff_recs's Epic Holiday Self-Rec Event!!! Come one, come all! Give us the gift of your awesome prose this holiday season. Click below. ♥

[giving thanks]

2009-12-08T14:43:57Z

I'm a little late as I've been away from the internet, but I just wanted to say thank you, thank you for the awesome snowflake cookies. ♥ Hope your December so far has been lovely flistas!

[butterflies in the sky]

2009-12-05T17:26:38Z

OMG, I have so much fic to read. Fic writers, stop being so damn awesome.

And yes, I have my Saturday priorities in order, and reading fic is one of them ;)

In further news, climate change has again brought freak snowstorms to the once winter-less Dirty South. The nieces and nephews are happy happy ♥

[you can have it]

2009-12-03T21:30:01Z

It's Thursday. No new SPN tonite, of course, but have one of my favorite Sam and Dean poems.

You Can Have It

Philip Levine

spn 5.10

2009-11-20T03:21:52Z

I am a freaking hot mess.

I don't think I've ever bawled for an SPN episode before. Yeah...I broke down. Not gonna lie ya'll.

But that Jo and Ellen death scene? Ellen not leaving Jo? Fuck, I love those women so damn much. What an amazing, heartwrenching, self-sacrificing and epically brave death scene. They were both so badass, as willing to die for the cause and with each other as Sam and Dean have ever been. And going out with a bang and all, going down swinging (a classic hero's sendoff). As sad as I am to see them go, I really loved their exit. Kudos to Samantha and Alona. IMO it was one of the most emotional and affective scenes I've seen on the show (maybe even rivaling John's death for me). It's also the sort of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid-style ending I use to crave for Sam and Dean.

And Ellen willing to die beside Jo so echoed Dean willing to die beside Sam in Croatoan. (Ellen and Dean have always felt very similar to me as characters, so this really worked for me).

I loved the team picture scene too. Fuck. I need an icon. It had a nice symmetry to the 5.04 resistance photo.

And that Dean/Jo kiss? ♥ Jo grew up good, not gonna lie.

*goes back to sobbing*

+

In other news...

Castiel is fucking awesome and badass and Misha is a sexy motherfucker (Castiel glowing in the firelight was a pretty sight). Cas had some fabulous scenes tonight.

And Lucifer also wins at life. Mark hit it out of the ballpark. (Mark and Misha, you own me, okay?).

This was the episode I've been waiting for since 5.04 (yeah, I've kind of been bored senseless by the last few episodes). But this one was nice and mytharc-filled and apocalyptic and finally feeling like the boys were at least trying to do something. And I thought it was a cool twist that the Colt didn't work. It would have been too redundant of a deus ex machina for it to actually work after all.

I am really interested in Lucifer's prediction to Sam about Detroit in six months too. Loving the 5.04 parallels.

ETA: About the promo for 5.11 -- I totally read that Big Bang. Yet more evidence that TPTB are mining the fanfic.

[nothing to fear, nothing to doubt]

2009-11-16T17:21:03Z

Just posting these pretty pics here cuz they made my morning. Brought to my attention by my girls thandie and tabularassa.

Dear Misha Collins,

Damn.

Source

*

Dear Adam Lambert,

Double Damn.

Words kind of fail me right now. Stay fierce boys.

In other news, how are you doing flistas?

[you're gonna break another heart]

2009-10-25T18:43:21Z

I cannot sum up the ways smilla02 is wonderful and talented and amazing. And I was so beyond excited when she picked up one of my prompts at the Fandom Free For All. She wrote me a gorgeous Dean/Cas piece that you should all go and read and leave her feedback for. It's a wonderful, hearbreaking piece of writing by one of my favorite wordsmiths.

Break Another Heart, Tell Another Lie | smilla02 | Future Dean/Future Castiel | NC-17
Dean never talks a lot when he visits Castiel.

So perfect! ♥ ♥ ♥

[they say it's your birthday]

2009-10-24T20:58:49Z

Happy birthday to one of my favorite people in this crazy, insane place.

Alejandra, bb, I hope your day has been as amazing, beautiful, and spectacular as you are. Thanks for being a part of my world, darling. Love to you always. ♥ ♥ ♥

[5 things on Friday]

2009-10-23T21:50:27Z

Five random fandom things:

+ Glee, you win at life.

Puck is so my favorite, y'all. Speaking of, you know I'm all OTP about Puck/Kurt, right? But OMG I want Puck/Rachel too! Mark Salling and Lea Michele are too cute for words!

LOL, Mark's in a Tupac shirt y'all. So my favorite.

+ FlashForward has the best guest stars.

Navi Rawat playing a lesbian?!!!! OMG, that was wonderful. More please.

+ maerhys is bad for my health. She's trying to convince me to go to wincon next year, which is gonna be in Chi-town. Flist, what do you think?

+ Kripke has inspired an Angelic comeback! Could Angels be the New Vampires? *g* Speaking of, dotfic linked to these character pics from the movie Legion yesterday and I kinda really want to see it now. Badass!Warrior Angels are my thing, mmmkay? Kripke, take note.

+ Community Pimp: And you know how I was talking about how someone (not me) needed to form a community dedicated to all things SPN 5.04. YAY, someone (not me) did!: spn_the_end.

Happy Weekend flistas!

[gonna ease on down, ease on down the road]

2009-10-19T14:47:08Z

SPN-related, obviously:

So, this was recc'ed by a bunch of folks on my flist over the weekend, and I have to just agree and say: YES, OMG, YES. I may have stayed up last night making dolphin noises while reading it and scaring my neighbors. It's a WIP, but it's absolutely glorious so far:

rageprufrock's Dean/Castiel AU Asunder

In which, Dean works for Child Protective Services and Cas is a pediatric surgeon. And just...it's so freaking perfect. I want to wrap myself up in its awesome characterizations. Seriously a fab example of AU that takes all the best traits of canon and fleshes them out in such a fantastic and original way. Go read.

Speaking of D/C, there looks to be a new Dean/Castiel recs community starting up – rec_hymenated – currently seeking volunteer reccers, so go check it out. Also there's a newly formed Dean/Castiel newsletter: deancastielnews, which has been a great central and organized way of locating all things D/C lately.

*

Anyway, in other fandom news, I'm writing. Which is quite exciting. Because it's been a really bad year for me in terms of getting writing in. I have a couple of Fandom Free For All fics I'm finishing up (Dean/Castiel for thandie and Dean/Henricksen for smilla02, woot!). And a bunch of holiday gift fics for folks on my flist, plus WIP updates and other such crazy things. Ugh, I write at a glacial pace. I wish I could clone myself...or hire minions...something...*g*

*

So, flist. How's tricks?

Oh, I know -- have a meme! Snagged from everyone.

The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you.

[the old familiar sting]

2009-10-15T18:47:34Z

Life. It is hard. I'm operating on 2 hours of sleep after pulling an all-niter for work! I'm also moving in three weeks and am kinda going crazy. As I will likely pretty much be on fandom hiatus for most of the next month and a half, let me take a lasting moment just to comment on and pimp some random fandom things...

MERLIN

I need to squee epically for the awesomeness that is this show. Gwen, you are amazing and you should marry meeeeeeee. No, marry Morgana! Please! No, marry Lancelot! Okay, you can marry Arthur. So much awesome crack and shippy awesomeness all over this show. I'm pretty OT4 (er...OT5) but the girls remain my favorite. ♥

*

GLEE

GLEE is epic and amazing and fills me weekly with unadulterated TV-squee. Puck/Kurt sort of owns me. ♥

*

FLASHFORWARD

Hello shiny new awesome show. I sort of love you. A lot. You're all post-apocalyptic and filled with John Cho in kevlar and kissing Gabrielle Union. Damn, the hot adorableness of that pairing! And you got Lynn Whitfield, Gina Torres, and Courtney B. Vance! See my face!? I am smiling so BIG.

*

SPN

Ah my heart, SPN fandom, why still so crazy?

That's okay, because I'm just gonna go and rewatch 5.04 a zillion times because it fills me with joy. Why isn't there a comm just dedicated to 5.04 fanworks so that I can find them with more ease?! Would folks be interested in such a comm? I know folks had comms dedicated to the Wish!Verse and Smith&Wesson pocket universes...

Also a vid rec: Hurt by ash48, a great Dean-centric S4 character study set to Johnny Cash's cover of Trent Reznor's Hurt. Guh, I'm still in tears. I love Dean Winchester's manpain so damn much and this pretty much covers so many reasons why S4 is one of my favorites for Dean-angst. Where are you rillaotvalley when I need you?

*

IN OTHER RANDOM FANDOM NEWS...

Share the SPN fic love

Join our team of reccers! sawedoff_recs is looking for fic and art guest reccers for the end of November and all of December. We often post via a theme (evil!Sam, hurt!Dean, rare pairs, AU, etc.) but it is optional - and we rec everything (het, slash, gen, rpf, xovers, etc). If you'd like to guest rec at SOR, please just comment below and let me know.

*

30 NaNo-Shots

More big pimping! Over at my comm spn_30snapshots we are holding a special NaNoWriMo and mini_nanowrimo friendly challenge for all those interested in writing SPN FPF and RPF over the month of November. Click on the banner for more information.

30 NaNo-Shots

*

Apocalypse Now

Thank you to all of you that filled out my Choose Your Own Apocalypse poll. You have given me much to consider as I work on my apocabigbang.

If you haven't signed up, go and do it!

For additional inspiration, allow me to point you to joan23's awesome apocalyptic picspam here as well as smilla02's awesome apocalyptic picspam here. So much apocalyptic goodness!

Also check out the gorgeous banners made by maharet83 here to celebrate the challenge.

*

Poems

For folks interested in poetry (primarily 20th and 21st century US/Canadian), I forgot to mention that me, moodswingers, maerhys, and velvetine01 are slowly beginning to archive our old poem shares and post new ones at words_end_here. Feel free to watch the comm!

*

To end this fandom spam, I leave you with some Morgana in HQ. Credit goes to andreas_ri.

I love her lots.

*

Anyway, this weekend? Big plans? Everyone going to go see Where the Wild Things Are?

[that's great, it starts with an earthquake]

2009-10-08T20:16:19Z

I'm bored and waiting for my boss to return. So, I've gone and signed up for apocabigbang even though I'm still deciding between two fics. \o/

For one of the fics I'm still debating exactly what apocalypse I'm going to use. I turn to you my dear flist for ideas. While you're at it, feel free to rec me your favorite movies/books/short stories/fanfic that fall into the apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic genre! I'm always on the lookout for new reads.

View Poll: Choose Your Own Apocalypse

[it starts here]

2009-10-08T12:38:17Z

I'm up so early waiting for my Glee download. *g*

So, a meme that I snagged from thandie and smilla02:

Post a picture in my comments that you think describes me when you think about what/who I am. No matter how surreal or plain. Give no written explanation. Just an image.

[homegirls and hand grenades]

2009-10-06T16:47:52Z

Crap. I'm moving in a month and have done nothing in terms of preparation yet. I kinda suck at adulthood. *shame face*

In more happy news, some fandom things you should check out, as seen around the flist.

+ Lovers of Femmeslash and Het, you may want to partake in Round Two of the Vagina Fest. Go, write me some Tara/Sookie and Gwen/Morgana. Nomnomnom.

+ And also, I'm REALLY excited about this next thing. choc_fic is hosting a 100 day long celebration of characters - and famous people from all forms of media - of color in its Inaugural "100 Days of Color" fest. From the mods:

We'd love you to share anything about your favorites (real life folk and/or fictional characters of color from any and all media sources). You're welcome to contribute anything; from fic to fic recs, actor or character picspams to icon sets, artwork to character essays/meta. We want it all! We're hosting 100 days of our very own show and tell.

Our goal is to have 100 generous souls post an offering of sorts (on designated dates ) celebrating a character or entertainer of color to this community from the start date of November 15th, 2009 until the end of our party on February 22, 2010.

[this is a fandom post]

2009-10-03T21:11:56Z

+ HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the wonderful thandie. I hope your day has been amazing. Thank you for bringing much awesomeness into my fandom life ♥

+ Merlin: Have I mentioned how much I love Merlin's Gwen/Morgana lately? They are made of sunshine and kickass!girl awesomeness. That's my way of saying you all should go and participate in the Gwen/Morgana Kiss Meme.

+ I am thinking about participating in both mini_nanowrimo and apocabigbang. Don't laugh at me! One day I'll write fic and finish fic and actually make a deadline. One day. *dreams*

+ Supernatural: I will admit to having watched SPN 5.04 like...at least four times by now. I may be a little bit obsessed. I haven't done this with an episode since Lazarus Rising. Nnnngh.

So here I offer you some 5.04 related recs:

AfterElton.com's Facebook Recap of 5.04. Haha, so good.

Meta: dotfic's SPN 5x04 Meta-and-Picspam

FIC: I Walked A Thousand Miles Just To Slip This Skin by maerhys, past!Dean/future!Dean, implicit Sam/Dean

FIC: Whatever This Is (Words Get In The Way) by runedgirl, Sam/Dean

FIC: He Shook the Hills by thevinegarworks, Dean/Castiel, more specifically future!Dean/future!Castiel

FIC: Set Yourself on Fire by trinityofone, Dean/Castiel

+ Other SPN-y recs:

ART: End is Here (Dean; Dean/Castiel, PG) by aesc. Just gorgeous.

FIC: Have I mentioned the talented drvsilla is writing a Batman!Dean SPN AU series called The Synergy of Dynastic Means. You guys! Epic glee! Chapters are posted every Friday and they are a great way to start a weekend!

Okay, that's all. Happy rest of the w/e flistas! ♥

spn 5.04

2009-10-02T20:55:49Z

Late to the party (grrrr, work!) but had to get my squee on. This is so not the coherent meta I wish my brain would allow me to write. This is me being a 12-year-old with a shiny new Ken doll. *cough*

Well, fuck me. That was truly orgasmic. ♥

That's going in my top five. Hell, it's rivaling Lazarus Rising for my #2 spot (Number 1 will likely always be held by IMtoD, for it is the episode that hands down sold me on SPN).

Seriously, I'm pwned. And okay, maybe I'm just easy because all my kinks were being hit. I mean there were TWO DEAN FUCKING WINCHESTERS AT ONE TIME. There was a post-apocalyptic world with zombies!!! Hardened heroes fighting for survival. There was stoned!Cas wearing my ex-boyfriend's hippie clothes (that reminds me I really should call Jeremy). And there was Dean talking about his feelings. AND DID I MENTION TWO DEAN FUCKING WINCHESTERS AT ONE TIME? And tears and angst and epic bromance to end all epic fucking bromance? So yeah, ~orgasmic~.

I capslocked all over maerhys at like 8 a.m. this morning. Good thing she forgave me and wrote angsty Dean/Dean.

Further highlights:

THE ACKTING. Jensen was phenomenal. Seriously, just fucking phenomenal. I wish the Emmy world would give some thought to shows like SPN because Jensen gives performances that rival and surpass ones I see on mainstream shows on mainstream networks. Just...yeah. I really hope some indie director discovers that boy post-SPN.

CROATOAN: Hell, yes. \o/ The amazing apocalyptic landscape. Hardened resistance fighters living in a base camp and fighting for survival. I eat this shit up. So good.

REALBOY!CASTIEL, OR MISHIEL OR CASHA. Misha is a fantastic actor, even though haha he was in essence playing up the fandom parody of himself. But the range he showed from past!Castiel to future!Castiel was brilliant stuff. And yeah, scrappy-loveguru-stoner-hippie broken!Cas owned. He also tore me up with his existentialist angst. Fallen into nihilism and that hedonistic approach to “living” – broken, lost, feeling useless without his mojo. Using women and drugs because there's no other point to life? OMG, Cas, say it ain't so. He had that burned out revolutionary from the 60s vibe going on too and worked it real well. Lots of great moments too – Castiel putting his feet up on the table, snarking at future!Dean, saying “I love past you.” His first reaction to seeing past!Dean – adorable. I so want to know the conversations that must have revolved around “I thought you'd gotten over trying to label me.” That stoned out bitter laugh he gets in the car ride – that whole car ride was an excellent scene by the way. Calling Dean his “fearless leader” and saying “We'll get the grunts moving.” So deliciously damaged, I just...need epic future!Dean/future!Cas fic. Speaking of:

DEAN/CAS: I adored their rapport, current and future. “The voice says I'm almost out of minutes” will never get old. And the affectionate look Castiel gave Dean right after he saved him from Zac??? You guys that was beautiful. That pining, utter fantastic look of love and adoration and fondness. Cas loves him some Dean. And in that look I could see the Cas who would follow Dean anywhere and would call his bad choice “insouciant.” Also, I loved the way past!Dean asked future!Dean about Cas in the scene at the end when future!Dean was ready to sacrifice his friends to save the world. The way past!Dean said: “Cas too?” just broke me.

And then back in 2009.

"We had an appointment."

“Don't ever change.”

Ah, boys. I love you.

ibroketuesday really summed up the intriguing interaction between future!Dean and future!Cas: 

I'm really interested in the relationship future!Dean and future!Cas had. They were friends, they were comrades, they had a great rapport, and they had a great back-and-forth - that scene where future!Dean laid out his plan and Cas was like ORLY? and then SURE, WHY NOT was gold, pure gold - but it wasn't... easy. It reminded me of two people who have known each other a long time, who care for and trust one another, but who do not, by any means, have a relationship devoid of friction. Dean misses the Castiel who was sober and proactive (from Chuck's comments, it sounds like he never even leaves the camp) and Castiel misses the Dean who had such a strong heart and true moral compass. ("I like past you." Layered comment!) It seemed like they had a really complex thing going, is what I'm saying, and I wish we had more canon on it. In the lieu of more canon, fic will suffice.

2014!DEAN: Who ze_pink_lady referred to as “FUTURE!DEAN, HOLY FUCKING SEXASS SOCIOPATH.” YES. A badass, cold, hard-hearted calculating merciless ruthless dick. Ladies and gents, that was the HOTTEST thing I've ever seen on my TV. THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR HOW HOT FUTURE!DEAN IS. Resistance!leader!Dean is like my ultimate turn on. Hotter than fire. Being smart, taking charge, giving orders, being all in command. I think someone on my flist mentioned they wished future!Dean was a little worse for wear, maybe with a few more visible scars, like a big one running down his cheek. Yeah, that would have been cool. But other than that I love how Jensen played him and I loved, loved the idea of this broken character. Also, in case it needs mentioning again, holy hell was he beautiful. The Batman voice even sounded sexier. Anyway, I could write pages about my love for 2014!Dean, so I'll just stop now. But I must add that Dean talking to himself and snarking at himself will never grow old. How I adored all the 2009!Dean and 2014!Dean scenes. Also Dean drinking beer and liquor -- NGGGGGH. Never stop putting things near your mouth, Dean Winchester. But all in all, Dean breaks beautifully -- from the pain and hopelessness of that first conversation on the phone with Sam to that conversation with Lucifer!Sam in the Garden of Eden to future!Dean's face when he realized that past!Dean would never say “yes.”

THE EPIC BROMANCE. The beginning and end Sam&Dean scenes nearly killed me. Brilliant writing, and both boys tore me up. Just heart-wrenching quality stuff.

“Whatever this is between us, love or family or whatever...”

You guys. I just...Dean talked about his FEELINGS. In a very Dean-like way. And it was beautiful. And I just...I seriously love Dean Winchester more than pie. And everyone has pointed out the utter epicness of the ending's “We Make Our Own Future.” Together, a unit, ONE future. They keep each other human, you guys. Oh, show.

Yes, they are each others' weakness, each other's Achilles' heels. Their love for each other brought on the End of the World after all. But we also know it's the one thing that's going to save it. Right? Right? *hallmark moment*

THE PROPHET CHUCK. He is awesome in any time period. And yes on the TP folks. Start stockpiling now for the zombie apocalypse. Not the cheap stuff either, mmmkay?

LUCIFER!SAM. Jared managed to pull off a really ugly suit! At first viewing I wasn't a big fan of the way Jared played his Lucifer...but in further viewings the performance is growing on me. I loved the whole Garden of Eden feel of that confrontation though, with Miltonian!Lucy caressing the flower and lamenting his fall from grace.

WIBBLY WOBBLY TIMEY WHIMEY ANGELS: I love that Dean totally pulled a lesson that Zac wasn't looking for out of this time-travel deal. Not to choose Michael, not to choose the Angels way. But to choose Sam, to choose the one person he's always chosen, and to believe that this is the choice that will save the world.

The whole time travel thing really screws with my perception of time in this universe. Obviously we learned in “In the Beginning” that nothing Dean did in the past could alter things. Things would happen as they were always suppose to happen. But apparently the future can indeed be altered? Huh.

“What do we do now?”

“We make our own future.”

“I guess we have no choice.”

That final line killed me though. We've all banged to death since S1 how the SPN universe tries to deal with concepts of free will/predestination/determinism, as the universe seems to hinge on how the writers are interrrupting these frameworks. What does it mean to have choice? That's the question -- the axis -- that this show has always revolved around. The idea of having choices. The idea of being denied choices ("destiny"). The consequences of choice. And now we get Lucifer's words to Dean: “Whatever you do...you will always end up here.” So I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Other things:

Bobby:(

Metallicar :(

Sam telling Dean: “I won't let you down.” I loved that so much.

Lexa Doig as Risa. She is absolutely gorgeous and I want MOAR. ♥

Thigh holsters. Nuff said.

Did I mention how gorgeous Jensen was? Because, damn.

Also:

This pic makes me smile.

I ADORED THIS ENTIRE SCENE. CAS WITH HIS LEGS UP. RISA BEING AWESOME. DEAN BEING ALL LEADER LIKE. NNGGGGH.

Ah, Dean and Cas ♥

And just because it needs saying again, for SPN and for the world:

WE MAKE OUR OWN FUTURE.

[perhaps the world ends here]

2009-09-29T14:52:07Z

Reposting this here, because like I told maerhys, this is the one.

PERHAPS THE WORLD ENDS HERE

Joy Harjo

[phew, for a minute there i lost myself]

2009-09-28T16:42:34Z

As a way to avoid work and other adult responsiblities, a meme!

Snagged from the lovely heather11483.

Ask me a fandom, and I will tell you:

+ OTP
+ Runner-up
+ Honorable mention(s)
+ Crack pairing(s)
+ Ship everyone else seems to like, but I don't

[Note from me: Feel free to ask me about any fandom or show you know I'm even remotely fannish about. (Off the top of my head, in case you were wondering, that list could include Supernatural, CWRPF, Battlestar Galactica, True Blood, Merlin, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Leverage, Glee, ST:Reboot, Harry Potter, FatF, and most teen soaps (Greek, Gossip Girl, Veronica Mars, Degrassi, etc.) and daytime soaps (OLTL, GH, etc). Plus old school fandoms like BtVS/Angel/Firefly, X-Files, Highlander, etc.]

(...)

2009-09-27T20:49:05Z

Late to the party, but I just had to squee:

MERLIN ♥ ♥ ♥

GLEE ♥ ♥ ♥

[partying 'til the break of dawn]

2009-09-24T16:02:18Z

maerhys and I have declared today International Day of Squee, also known as ALDIS HODGE DAY.

So, do feel free to partake in the joyous celebrations by spamming me with Aldis pictures or tales of your infinite Aldis love. Come, rejoice, be at one with the universe!

well...

2009-09-13T01:56:29Z

I just watched The Vampire Diaries. Um, I sort of loved it. Come and mock me, please.

Also, I have not posted more than 700 words worth of fanfic in like 9 months. I suck at life, obviously. Feel free to come and hit me over the head as well.

Also, since everyone else is doing it:

GUH. GUH.

LOL. Why is this so hot? On top of everything else, this fandom is gonna give me a spoon fetish.

new themed prompt comm! come play!

2009-09-01T22:06:52Z

In honor of SPN starting back up in 9 days, Vel, Maerhys and I think you should all come play in our new playground:

Supernatural 30 Snapshots

info | join | watch

A new prompt-based fiction and art challenge -- inspired by themed writing challenges like fanfic100 -- but specifically for the Supernatural and SPN/CWRPF fandoms. As a participant you create 30 pieces of short fiction or art for the pairing or character/s of your choice. We accept fiction and art of all genres, ratings, and pairings -- het, gen, slash, crossover, and real people fiction.

Come on by and see what we're all about! And ask us about our NaNoWriMo special!

// a letter //

2009-08-30T14:22:52Z

Dear Aldis and Traci,

You hotness is hotter than hot. I wish your characters were not dead.

Sincerely,
A. Sad Fan Girl

(Images credit to growyourwings)

PS: And don't worry Misha, I still love you bestest of all. Almost, cuz to be honest Traci and Aldis, whew, so very close.